Gay Ass Gossip: Timberlake Done With Biel, On Some Kunis

 

ITEM – The Justin Timberlake/Jessica Biel romance is over.  He's kinda dainty and she's one of those women who are probably really good at things like archery so it had to end sometime. JT doesn't waste any time, so he forwarded that dick in a box over to Black Swan hotness Mila Kunis. They had that really odd inside joke thing happening during their Oscar presentation that no one understood (or cared about) so something's up. On a side note, I'm strictly dickly but even I was hot in the pants when Mila was going down on Nat Portman's love cellar in Swan. As if I don't have enough to deal with, let alone bisexuality rearing it's fickle head. Ugh.

- J. Harvey

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ITEM - Lower tier celebrity Eddie Cibrian has just been cast as the leadin NBC's upcoming series Playboy. It's a drama set in 1963 at Chicago's infamous Playboy club. Eddie will play a lawyer who's "the ultimate playboy." This is kinda fitting, seeing as he's presently most famous for dumping his wife for squinting country sensation Lee Anne Rimes. Whenever I see the word Playboy, all I can picture is an interview I read with a former Playmate who described how Hef's bedroom has dog poo and pee all over the floor and that you have to let him take Viagra and stick it in you as part of the deal. So an octogenarian trying to stuff his semi-hard worm in you while the smell of dogshit wafts in the air. Really – it sounds like something out of an Estee Lauder perfume ad.

 

 

 

ITEM – Ohmygod you guys, Taylor Lautner and the rest of the Twilight cast totally survived the tsunami! You can break down and cry out of sweet relief now. As a precaution, they were removed from the Breaking Dawn set in Vancouver. Yeah. That was really a news item. No, it really was – here, here, here and here. I know the 1,000+ Japanese that were killed in the earthquake/tsunami will rest better knowing that Twilight: Breaking Dawn will make it to theaters as scheduled. *eye-roll*

 

 

ITEM – This week John Stamos' name was bandied about as a possible replacement for crazier than crazy Charlie Sheen on Two And A Half Men. Even my cab driver was talking about this the other day. This was right after he announced his windshield wipers didn't work ( it was pouring) and he couldn't make change for me. Totally use Green Cab in Somerville, MA cause they couldn't be more helpful. But I digress, Uncle Jessie says that he would NEVER try and take Sheen's place. Because he likes breathing. No, because he thinks Charlie is some sort of comedic treasure. "Charlie is great on that show and people love Charlie on that show and people love the way the show is," he said. " I hope it works out and I hope he goes back and people get the show that they love." Personally, the show is eh so I'm not sure what all the fuss is about. Charlie's life with the harem and the borderline personality disorder is FAR more entertaining.